The Everlasting Struggle

Life always seems to be a balancing act, especially since having a baby. Some choices are easy to make, but others have been more of a struggle. 

As I write this, I’m looking around our beautiful house and all I see is a mass of destruction and unfinished projects. Those photo frames that were going on the lounge wall sit empty in a pile on the floor, everywhere needs tidying, and moving boxes from four months ago seem to have become a permanent decorative feature. 

Upstairs, there are piles of clean clothes. Somehow they got washed but never put away. The spare bed appears to have become our wardrobe. The boy’s room desperately need sorting as this size clothes and the previous size are all muddled in his drawers making getting dressed a minefield. 

Outside, the grass needs cutting. Again. It was done less than two weeks ago but is already starting to resemble a jungle. 

But then I look at my boy, and the decision is easy. I’ll play with him just a little bit longer. I’ll make the most of those snuggly little cuddles and dribbly kisses. I’ll tickle his little tummy and make him laugh. This time is precious. He won’t be small for long and I will never get these days back.

I recently had to make a decision about returning to work. We moved while I was on maternity leave, so I didn’t have a job to go back to. Two interviews later, I had two job offers. The first was an easy decision as we couldn’t get childcare. The second would have given me the chance to gain some great new skills and put me at the heart of a new project – a great opportunity. Since moving, though, we have found ourselves in a situation we never imagined we would be in, and I’m really lucky to not need to go back to work immediately. 

I made the decision to stay at home a while longer. The job was a great opportunity, but the unexpected opportunity to be with my baby for longer than nine months was too good to pass on. Jobs will come and go, but my boy is growing every day. 

As I look around the house again, I don’t see the mess, I see a happy little boy’s toys strewn around mid-play. I don’t see unfinished projects, I see time spent with my son. The place isn’t dirty and the dishwasher can be emptied once he’s tucked up in bed. We are so lucky to have our beautiful boy, everything else can wait. 

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